the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
