I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
