I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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