if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
