if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
