she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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