we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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