Have you finally orgasmed yet?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
