Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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