My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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