I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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