they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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