You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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