I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
