Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Welp...herpes.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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