We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
