maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
