I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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