He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
