we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
