Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
