Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize