I like my sex mixed with concussions.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
