bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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