he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize