Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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