Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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