no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
