anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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