I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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