mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I am available for nakedness
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
