how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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