Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
