did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Is Oprah even human
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
