Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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