Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
