Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
