so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
