apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
