Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
id be glad to
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
