He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
