If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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