Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
are you so shy because you have an std?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
