get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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