obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize