Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
