I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
