Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
He has the fingertips of a God
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
