I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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