i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
