What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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