i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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