OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
