yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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