My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Green mimosas i think yes
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
