I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
