I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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